I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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