Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize