your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
