my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
