So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
