How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
