i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
