Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i think im in europe. pls send help
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
