clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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