He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
