There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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