omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
