part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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