I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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