If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The dick lei will go down in squad history
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
