Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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