i dont even know how to be here
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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