Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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