She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
