Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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