I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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