At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
