i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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