No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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