I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
