Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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