i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
