Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
