If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
