i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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