I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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