This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
