I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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