so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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