I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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