this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
