She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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