her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
