Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
