I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
