it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
