Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
