you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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