you guys were way drunker than both of me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize