At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
