HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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