Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
