if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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