SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
