i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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