getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
