seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the liver wants what the liver wants
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
