I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
