The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
