We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
