On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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