Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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