Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
