That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
