well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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