AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
